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On october 19 2012 I got out an old file I had written about the relationship between Matthias and Taz because I could not remember Taz's full name --Tazmenae Blackburn--

Once the file was out I started editing it extensively, on the 19th I spent the whole day editing this file, adding about 15 pages of story to what was mostly just character description.

I ended that day with over 9000 words, thinking at this rate I could write a NaNo in a week, especially considering I had not just written that part, but read through and edited several times, and I was adding related wiki edits such as this one as I went along also. and had many family related interuptions.

I was really manic that day and trying to deescalate myself.

the next day, a Saturday, I did basically the same thing, though with more interuptions. and Decided this a "pre-NaNo", as I a writing it basically anano style and it is adding a whole New well-thought-out trilogy onto the front of this story, slightly to the side. It's the sort of thing which might not be a bad candidate for possible publication, I think, but I'm not sure where it would be publishable, because the third book might have alot of LDS content, but this book has alot of sex violence and violent sex, more or less, because Taz is a very messed up person. this book is quite a bit different in tone and genre than Destiny of Dreams.

She needs the gospel.

I might publish it under another name... JoCarmen? is she my dark side.

mean while, for the time being I am doing this as a theraputic gesture rather than a writing project as such. it's a rant an expression of thoughts and feelings a parable for things that are being explored in my marriage now, for needed healing. it's a dream and I'm hoping, like many of my manic dream writings, that when I come down this will shed needed light on some things.

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